| | THE JOKERS | |
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Author | Message |
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macstorm21 PT MODERATOR
Posts : 56
| Subject: THE JOKERS Sun Jun 26, 2011 1:33 pm | |
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| | | macstorm21 PT MODERATOR
Posts : 56
| | | | xxerrorxx PT SUPER MODERATOR
Posts : 189
| Subject: Re: THE JOKERS Mon Jun 27, 2011 1:34 am | |
| BATA UMUWI NG UMIIYAK! TATAY: oh anak bakit ka umiiyak? BATA: lage po kse aq nilang pinipintasa na malaki ang nguso ko. TATAY: anak hayaan muna sila hnd nman totoo un,Sya kunin muna ung pala,kakain na tau! Whahahaha | |
| | | xxerrorxx PT SUPER MODERATOR
Posts : 189
| Subject: Re: THE JOKERS Mon Jun 27, 2011 1:58 am | |
| Some day, you lose your hair you may lose you teeth your money and even lose your mind. But one thing you will never lose, your good looks, coz you can never lose what you dont have!Haha:p ------------------------ i had a dream about you, nasa heaven dw tau w/ 2 angels, your angel is cute but mine is not, so nag tampo ko. Nag ask aq bkt ang cute ng angel mo, they said: "balance of nature" haha ------------------------ anong animal ang d sigurado?Edi baka! Eh ano nman ang pinutol?Edi Cat! Eh ano nman ang lagueng auz?Eh d ox! Eh ano nman ang laging nauuntog?Eh d dog! Eh ano nman ang pangit?Eh d cow!Haha ------------------------ i sent an angel to watch over you last night while you were sleeping,she went back 2 me and said ang cute mo raw,sinampal q nga,langyang un,iba ang nbantayan,haha :p ------------------------ i saw some1 at d mall, so cute,smart looking,simple,elegant and looks like a celebrity,kainis paglapit q nauntog aq,salamin pla, ------------------------ just got my medical exam result, malala na ang sakit q,everyday lalo aqng na pogi at wla n dw lunas sa sakit qng ito,, but dont worry,di nman dw nakakahawa,kea safe ka,haha | |
| | | xxerrorxx PT SUPER MODERATOR
Posts : 189
| Subject: Re: THE JOKERS Mon Jun 27, 2011 3:52 pm | |
| tune_Price Tag pacquiao version: ang pangalan ko ay Manny, Manny, Manny. Ang dami ko ng money, money, money. Tinalo ko c Mosley, saya saya ni Jinky. Ang dami ko ng chaching chaching, ang dami ko pang babling, babling, ang yaman na ni Freddie, may pangballroon na si Mommy! | |
| | | macstorm21 PT MODERATOR
Posts : 56
| Subject: Re: THE JOKERS Mon Jun 27, 2011 4:05 pm | |
| Ang makatang sampay- bakod Here’s something for your coffee break………. BUTI PA SIYA Buti pa ang kalendaryo, may date Buti pa ang Hersheys, may kisses Buti pa ang probability, may chance YUNG IBANG TAO, WALA. Buti pa ang Paranaque, may BF Buti pa ang farm, may chicks Buti pa ang halaman, may nagaalaga YUNG IBANG TAO, WALA. Buti pa ang nitso, may bulaklak Buti pa ang patay, may dumadalaw Buti pa ang prisoner, binabantayan YUNG IBANG TAO, BALIWALA. Buti pa ang tennis, may love Buti pa ang bees, may honey Buti pa ang Chemistry, may lab YUNG IBANG TAO, WALA. Buti pa ang telepono, hini- hello Buti pa ang film, nadi- develop Buti pa ang typewriter, nata-type-pan YUNG IBANG TAO, HINDI. Buti pa ang exams, sinasagot Buti pa ang problema, iniisip Buti pa ang assignment, inu- uwi YUNG IBANG TAO, HINDI. Buti pa ang panyo, nadadantayan ng pisngi Buti pa ang baso, dinadampian ng labiButi pa ang unan, inaakap sa gabi YUNG IBANG TAO, HINDI PUEDE. Buti pa ang kamalian, napapansin Buti pa ang salamin, minamasdan Buti pa ang hininga, hinahabol YUNG IBANG TAO, HINDI Buti pa ang tindera, nagpapatawad Buti pa ang awit at tugtog, pinagsasama Buti pa ang sugat, inaalagaan YUNG IBANG TAO, HINDI Buti pa ang lungs, malapit sa puso Buti pa ang bra, kakabit ng dibdib Buti pa ang kotse, mahal YUNG IBANG TAO, HINDI Buti pa ang pera, ini-ingatan Buti pa ang mahjong, sinasalat Buti pa ang damo, dinidiligan YUNG IBA DIYAN, HINDI Buti pa ang sobre, nadidilaan Buti pa ang susi, naipapasok Buti pa ang itlog, binabati YUNG SA IBA DIYAN, HINDI Buti pa ang doorbell, pinipindot Buti pa ang keyboard, napi-finger Buti pa ang bola, nilalaro YUNG SA IBA DIYAN, HINDI BUTI PA………… MAGTRABAHO KA NA AT BAKA MASISANTE KA PA. | |
| | | macstorm21 PT MODERATOR
Posts : 56
| Subject: Re: THE JOKERS Tue Jun 28, 2011 3:42 pm | |
| Let’s learn French. Oui? Note: There is no translation to Tagalog. But if you know Tagalog, you would find it very funny especially some words and presumably every Filipino knows who Joseph “Erap” Estrada, former president of the Philippines, whom the intellectual community considers him as “Bobo” for his carabao English and lack of educational attainment. — GM 1. TURN – le coup 2. LITER – le true 3. BEHIND – le coud 4. ALMS – le mousse 5. FIVE – le ma 6 . FLY – le pad 7. DID NOT TAKE A BATH – le bag 8. CONFUSED – le tou 9. NO LONGER A VIRGIN – les pag 10. UNFAITHFUL HUSBAND – cou ma le wah 11. CITY – ce vou 12. DRUGS – sha vou 13. GOODBYE – va vou 14. MUSICAL BAND – com vou 15. BALD – cal vou 16. CAUGHT IN THE ACT – na vou coup, na coup!! 17. FEATHERS – valahe vou 18. UNCLEAR – ma la vou 19. SINK – lah va vou 20. COCONUT – vou coup 21. OPEN WIDE – vou camou 22. CIRCUMCISE – vou ratattouile 23. ALWAYS UP – va yagriah 24. YOU’RE HOT – le voug mou 25. WASHROOM – coup vaetta 26. JAIL – coup lou ngan 27. SUPER BOOBS – la que zõusõu 28. BUGER – cõup la ngõut 29. WOUNDS – va cõup cängh 30. BIG MOUTH – chez moussa 31. NAGGER – vou nga nguerrah 32. TADPOL – vou teiteh 33. JOSEPH ESTRADA – vou vou!! | |
| | | iori61 PT MODERATOR
Posts : 32
| Subject: Re: THE JOKERS Tue Jun 28, 2011 5:04 pm | |
| REAL C0URTSHiP LiNES ...
MAN:hi ! Did'nt we go on a date once ? or was it twice ? WOMAN: must've been once . I never make the same mistake twice !!! -------------------------------------- MAN: may i have the pleasure of this dance ? WOMAN: no , i'd like to have some pleasure too !!! -------------------------------------- MAN: haven't i seen you some place before ? WOMAN: yes , that's why i don't go there anymore . -------------------------------------- MAN: is this seat empty ? WOMAN: yes , and this one will be if you sit down . -------------------------------------- MAN: hey baby , what's your sign ? WOMAN: do not enter . -------------------------------------- MAN: your body is like a temple . WOMAN: sorry , there are no services today . -------------------------------------- MAN: i would go to the end of the world for you . WOMAN: but would you stay there ? -------------------------------------- MAN: if i could see you naked , i'd die happy . WOMAN: if i saw you naked , i'd probably die laughing . -------------------------------------- MAN: where have you been all my life ? WOMAN: where i'll the rest of your life - in your wildest dreams -------------------------------------- MAN: do you know who i am ? WOMAN: (announcing to others) look everybody , this man doesn't know who he is . | |
| | | macstorm21 PT MODERATOR
Posts : 56
| Subject: Re: THE JOKERS Wed Jun 29, 2011 1:11 am | |
| call girl misis1:lolokohin ko ang mister ko kunwari isa akong call girl misis2:o sige game ako jan! nakita ni misis1 c mister misis1:helllo boy pwede ka ba ngaun? mister:ayoko nga sayo kamukha mo miss ko!
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| | | macstorm21 PT MODERATOR
Posts : 56
| Subject: Re: THE JOKERS Wed Jun 29, 2011 1:27 am | |
| Bawal Magnakaw Isang araw, nakaroon ng salo- salo ang Presidente at ang dalawang dating Presidente. sabi ni ninoy: bawal ang magnakaw nagtanong si erap: bakit naman bawal? sabi ni gloria: bawal ang magnakaw kasi wala na kayong mananakaw inubos ko na eh. hehe, peace
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| | | macstorm21 PT MODERATOR
Posts : 56
| Subject: Re: THE JOKERS Wed Jun 29, 2011 1:29 am | |
| Title: Vampire Session Isang araw my 3 bampira na naguusap sa isang club; Rich Vampire: Pa order nga ng Fresh blood.. Middle Class Vampire: Ako naman ung Dinuguan.. Poor Vampire: Sa akin, Hot water nalang.. Waiter: Bakit po Hot Water lang ang order ninyo? Poor Vampire: Paano naman eh nakapulot ako ng napkin sa daan kanina, mag te-tea nalang ako.. | |
| | | macstorm21 PT MODERATOR
Posts : 56
| Subject: Re: THE JOKERS Wed Jun 29, 2011 1:31 am | |
| Boy:tandaan mu lhat ng sa2bihin ko dhil imp0rtante ito? Girl: ok anu ba sasabhin mu?? Boy:ahmmm',' mahal na mahal kita lagi m0ng tandaan na andito lng aq, lagi sa tabi mu...!! Boy: anu natandaan mu bA?? Girl: (kinilig) ah oo naman, Boy: good pakisabi yan sa bestfriend mu, ahH. Tnx!! | |
| | | macstorm21 PT MODERATOR
Posts : 56
| Subject: Re: THE JOKERS Wed Jun 29, 2011 1:35 am | |
| BOY: miss, pwd mgtnung? anung oras na? GIRL: ngttanung k ng oras? tpos ttanungn mu name ku? tpos hhingin mu numbr ku? tpos liligwan muq? tpos aftr 1mo. pcharming akung ssgutn kta.. tpos bbsita k sa bahay.. tpos mgddate tyo.. tpos smpre pkipot nmn aku.. tpos ddlhn muq kht san lng.. tpos mi mngyyari stn.. tpos mbbuntis aku.. tpos ppkasal tyo.. tpos bbugbugn mu lng ako! at pnu na ang bata?! Hindi! Hndi ku ssbhn kung anung oras na! BOY: (speechless) Anak umuwi ng bahay.(gaLit) anak: nay, pinptwag kau sa skul! nay: bakit? my ginwa kn namang katarntaduhan? anak: ako ba? baka ikaw, ikw nga pinapatawag db? Hndi lng ang mga in-love ang pwedeng kiligin.... Ang mga umiihi dn... Q: an0ng similarity ng sperm at may0nnaise? A: pareh0 clang galing itl0g at pareh0ng ladies choice hehe | |
| | | macstorm21 PT MODERATOR
Posts : 56
| Subject: Re: THE JOKERS Wed Jun 29, 2011 1:53 am | |
| 6 senses of kissing. Sense of Smack. Sense of Torrid. Sense of Gigil. Sense of Hawak. Sense of Libog. Eh ano yong pang anim? Absense! Wala ng CLOTHES. Hahaha
Ang Alamat ng WAKA-WAKA. Noong unang panahon,sina Pedro at Juan ay gumagawa ng homework sa Geography. Nainis si Pedro kasi hindi makita ni Juan ang Africa sa mapa. P: (kinukuha ang mapa) Amin na, mina. J: Eh eh, wag ka wag ka, eh eh. P: Amin na, mina.Sa kalewa. J: Alam na, Ah ah. P: Amin na, mina. J: Eh eh. Wag ka, wag ka. Eh eh. P: Amin na, mina, sa kalewa. coz this is africa. | |
| | | macstorm21 PT MODERATOR
Posts : 56
| Subject: Re: THE JOKERS Wed Jun 29, 2011 1:56 am | |
| "Hindi ko pa naranasang magmahal kahit minsan!" -FISHBALL. Php 0.50 since 1992.
Teacher: ok class, only Juan got 99/100... Juan: oha! Ano kau ngaun?! Mamundok nlang kau! Magtanim nlang kau ng kamote mga bobo! Mga walang pnag aralan, mga ubod ng tanga! Bkit hndi p kau mgpakamatay?! Teacher: the rest got 100.. .basag. .wahaha.
B0y: mis.. Tanim kaba? Girl: k0rny m0h..cge nga bakit? B0y: pa.a m0 puro ugat.. | |
| | | macstorm21 PT MODERATOR
Posts : 56
| Subject: Re: THE JOKERS Wed Jun 29, 2011 2:03 am | |
| "PLANTS VS. ZOMBIE LOVE STORY" ZOMBIE: why do you keep on striking me with your peas that will eventually shoot me to death when i only wanted to be near you? PEASHOOTER: because you are only interested with my brain. How about my heart?ö My 2 sister n hnahbol ng rapis until umbot cla s isng kanto... Sr1:sister dun k s kaliwa ako nlng papahabol! Nkatakas c sr2..after 1 hour.. S simbhan.. Sr2: sister! Bkt wla kang palda! Sr1: sinadya kong mgphbol sister! Sr2:ano?! Bkt? Sn n ung rapis? Anu ginwa nyo? Sr1: xempre tinanggal ko palda ko! Sr2: ha?! O tapos? Sr1: xempre binba nya pantalon nya! Sr2: nku po diyos ko! O tapos sister?? Sr1: xempre tumakbo n ako d2, masmabilis tumakbo ang babaeng wlang palda kesa s lalaking nakbba ang pantalon! Haha! Kala mu green noh? | |
| | | macstorm21 PT MODERATOR
Posts : 56
| Subject: Re: THE JOKERS Wed Jun 29, 2011 2:16 am | |
| 5 tips for a happy man's life 1 is to have a gurl to help you @ work, 2. have a gurl to take care & love u. 3. have a gurl who can make you laugh. 4. have a gurl who spoils u. Lastly 5. make sure these FOUR gurls don't know each other.
when i die .. i want to change the 'R.I.P' initials on my tombstone .. instead of, "Rest In Peace" R-edhorse i-padala P-lease. . . | |
| | | macstorm21 PT MODERATOR
Posts : 56
| Subject: Re: THE JOKERS Wed Jun 29, 2011 2:20 am | |
| >Sabi ng mga pangit: "what is beauty if your brain is empty?" ganti ng mga magaganda at gwap0: "what is knowledge if your face is damage?" * Hahaha! I wanna be a billi0naire, so freaking bad, buying all the STING I never had. I wanna be on the c0ver of REDH0RSE magazine, smiling next to C0BRA ENERGY, oh everytime I close my eyes, I see my name in SAN MIG LIGHT. HAHA. . . Pag ang "ex" mu s frnd mu npunta wg ka ng mgta2ka ksi san ba npu2nta ang "basura"sa "plastik"d'ba? Peru kung sa relativ mu npunta,yun ang tnatawag na "sagip kapamilya" hehe . | |
| | | macstorm21 PT MODERATOR
Posts : 56
| Subject: Re: THE JOKERS Wed Jun 29, 2011 2:27 am | |
| Nagtanong ang teacher kay juan Teacher:juan anung hayop ang nagsisimula sa letter k Juan:mam kuto po Teacher:hindi!! nagtatapos ito sa letter w Juan:mam alam ko na kutow Teacher:hindi!! Pang lupa ito Juan:mam alam ko na po kutow lupa Teacher:hindi!! May sungay toh Juan:mam dimonyong kutow 1 bata,ngpass ng blank pper s art tcher.. T: bkt blank ang work m? B: ngdrowng po aq ng baka at damo. T: (tningnn ang ppel) san ang damo? B: ubos npo,kinain ng baka. T: (kamot s ulo) e nsn ung baka? B: ano p ga2wn ng baka jn e wla ng damo? sympre umalis n. common sense nmn mam!ü haha., | |
| | | macstorm21 PT MODERATOR
Posts : 56
| Subject: Re: THE JOKERS Wed Jun 29, 2011 2:43 am | |
| C mahal sumakay na taxi.. MAHAL:dlaybel alam mo to adles..? DRIVER:ano po adress...? MAHAL:siksik oten patay titi...! DRIVER:patingn nga....ah.... 66010 PASAY CITY...!
MATH CLASS: GURO: jUaN, kUnG aKo'Y mAy 5 aNaK sA uNaNg aSaWa aT 7 nAmAn sA pAnGaLaWa aT 3 sA pAnGaTLo, mEr0n ac0hNg ? . . . JUAN: KALANDIAN p0h . . .iSa kAnG kErEnGkEnG mA'aM, mALaNdi kA, hALiPaRoT, kALaDkAriN, mAkAti, mAhiLiG, pAriWaRa, p0kPoK, iMoRaL . . . GURO: uMuPo kA, tAnG iNa mOh, di kA mAkAkApAsA gAg0! -hala?
kung ayaw nyo to paki bura na lang ng post na to. . | |
| | | macstorm21 PT MODERATOR
Posts : 56
| Subject: Re: THE JOKERS Wed Jun 29, 2011 2:52 am | |
| Juan:0y,ano yan?Pinya? Pahingi nman. Pedro:Pahingi? Nsaan ka nung ngbu2ngkal ako ng lupa sa ilalim ng init ng araw? Nasaan ka nung ngtatanim ako hbang kumukulog, kumikidlat at bumubuhos ang ulan?Nsaan ka nung oras na ng-aani ako na ngkalat ang mraming ahas sa daanan ko, nung naghihirap ako sa pgpasan ng pinya? Nasaan ka? Juan:Nakulong ksi ako noon! Nkaptay ako ng madamot! Pedro:gnun ba? Kuha ka na, khit ilan! May langka pa dun!:] >nyahahahaa.
A very SAD story: A guy visits his dying Chinese girl friend at d hospital. D Chinese girl said "Hong Pi Chik" den die. D guy went all d way to China to find d meaning of his friend's last w0rd. And he was sh0ck 2 kn0w d real meaning. "WAG MO TAPAKAN ANG OXYGEN" Ngek? =/
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| | | macstorm21 PT MODERATOR
Posts : 56
| Subject: Re: THE JOKERS Wed Jun 29, 2011 2:56 am | |
| Sir: Inday wla maam mo,dun tau sa kwar2. Inday: wAt? r u nuts? 4 ur n4mati0n sir I intend 2 reserve my viRginity 4 d person I truly lUv. f u think im an easy 2 get,cheap, slut.well,ur barking at d wr0ng tree & wil u pls act like a pr0fesSional bc0z ur s0 e [You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]Char lng siR, tara! excited nAkOh! Hehehe! ALONE? i'm here for you. iN LOVE? i'm happy for you. HURT? you may cry on my shoulders. NEED HUG? my arms are yours. NEED MONEY? wala si "*** " umalis! may ginagawa! lumayas! naglilinis! may trabaho! tulog! nag'abroad! 'di ko alam kung kailan babalik! hindi n'ya number 'to! hu u?haha | |
| | | macstorm21 PT MODERATOR
Posts : 56
| Subject: Re: THE JOKERS Wed Jun 29, 2011 3:07 am | |
| Kpag pinipilit ka ng parents mo na umamin sa kasalanan mo, e2 dpt mong sabihin, "No person shall be compelled to be a witness against himself." -PHILIPPINE C0NSTITUTI0N- Article III, Secti0n 17. Right Against Self- Incriminati0n Safe k n, n0sebleed pa cla, Hahahah. . =)
Amo: inday, paalisin mo nga yung pulubi sa labas ng bahay Inday: off you go! under no circumstance this house would relent to such unabashed display of vagrant destitution!!! Pulubi: oh! im so ashamed! such mancion of social climbing freaks! hehehe. . . =) | |
| | | macstorm21 PT MODERATOR
Posts : 56
| Subject: Re: THE JOKERS Wed Jun 29, 2011 3:24 am | |
| Anak: nay galing ng titser ko. Nay: bakit namn? Anak: tinuruan kami ng kagandahang asal Lola: e d marunong ka ng gumalang at mag-PO at OPO? Anak:Natural! tanga ka Ba? hm mp... Titser: use "anyhow" en "anyone" in a sentence.. Pacman: hoy Pidro!! baki mo kinain ang " anyhow" na manok na "anyone" ko dyan sa mesa para kay Jengkeh | |
| | | macstorm21 PT MODERATOR
Posts : 56
| Subject: Re: THE JOKERS Wed Jun 29, 2011 3:25 am | |
| Amo: inday nasaan yung sabon namin sa banyo? ginamit mo ba? Inday: with due respect, i will not allow my skin to be touched by that highly commercialized so called anti-bacterial soap. Only belo touches my skin, who touches yours? safeguard? Amo; letche lumayas ka nga!!!
hinahanap ng mga NPA sina Juan, pedro at berting Nagtago sila sa sako sa bodega ng kamote NPA: san n kaya sila? hmm.. baka nagtatago lang ang mga yun dito Sinipa ang sako 1 Juan: meow meow NPa: Pusa lang pala Sinipa ang sako 2 Pedro: arf ! arf ! NPA: aso lang pala Sinipa pang sako 3 Berting; tahimik walang reaksyon Sinipa ulit yung sako 3 Berting: wala ulit reaksyon Sinipa ng sinipa ang sako 3 Berting: tang ina naman oh!! kamote ako.. wala akong sound!!!
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